I made a table. I made a table. I made a table, hey hey hey.

All I needed was to wait for glue to dry and I got bored and impatient. So, I made a table out of 2x4s. I mean the mitre saw was all talking to me and making sweet noises. What were my idle hands to do?! I had my choice of non-treated wood or I could use the treated wood that was spray painted hot pink. Um, hot pink, por favor.

                                                      come to me, Lauren. I'm waiting...

So I cut out all my little blocks on the saw and then glued them to a piece of plywood in a brick pattern. If you look closely, some of them are a little wonky because the 2x4 was warped towards the end. Whatevs, I dig it just the same.

                             "That looks weird," says someone in the shop. "Just wait," said I.

Then I cut it down to size on the vertical Optisaw. And by "size" I really mean that I just cut it down so it actually had 90degree corners. I'm not really one for measuring things. Then I hit it a bunch with a belt sander so that I could smooth out all the pieces. After that I went down in sandpapers on a hand sander until it was super smooth. And hot. Remember: friction makes things hot (rrrwwwarrrr raawwrr). Finally I capped the ends off with some luan and attached that. You know, for that finished look. I got some shine on it with lacquer and brought it home to bring it all together.

 

On my way home I remembered that I wasn't really bringing home a table, I was bringing home something like a cutting board. I needed legs. I went to the hardware store and found no legs that I liked. Then I put it on Euro2012 highlights and found legs that I liked (mmm soccer boy legs...). Just kidding. So while there and being fussy because I couldn't find anything, I had an ah-ha moment! I have a weird plant thingy outside my door that would be perfect. I hurried home with my table-to-be and tried it out. Then I slapped some of my favorite lime green paint on the edges. Brought her upstairs and put some crap on it to stage this photo:

                                oooooooooooooooooooo! Right? I know. What? Humble brag!

I am so in love with this table that it's not even funny. I love the pink poking through. I love the pattern made with the wood grain. I love my favorite color green. I do not love the fact that in my ah-ha moment at the store I forgot that the plant thingy is unfinished on the top. Meaning that my glorious wood top is just resting on four prongs doo-dahs. So now I just need to figure out a better way to attach it. Otherwise, one big kid 24oz Miller High Life might knock it over. And we don't want that: broken tables and High Life everywhere. Let's look at that wood grain again, eh?

So tomorrow, well tomorrow I have some acrylic stuff to work on. We'll see how that works.

I'm back at my challenges!

Art things:

1. Safari-zetti cards. What!? Safari animals! What?! Make them all kooky and shit? I'm in like Flynn, my friend.

So since these were my first cards I made from a loooooooong art swap break, dare I say: I was excited. I busted out all my paper and my paints and my photos. I must say that I got a little carried away on some of the neon paints that I bought. But hey! The 90's are back and it was all about neon and remembering one important fact: My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon. Wiser words were never uttered, Sir Mix-a-Lot.

2. My old pal, Nan, on AFA hit me up with a challenge: Princess Bride. Say whaaa? To that challenge I said , "Of course!" I set about thinking on mornings in my sheet fort, eating some Lucky Charms, and watching The Princess Bride. I decided for my cards that I wanted to do random characters. Yeah, I could've done Buttercup or Wesley, but why? I love Christopher Guest. BTDubs - someone pointed this out to me:

Ugh, yeah, consider my mind: blown. Anyways. I decided on hand-drawn cards for my favorites characters. Again, that neon paint just sort of came out of nowhere and worked it's way all into my stuff.

I've got some owls to make and a house to build still. Also, I was challenged into some Virgin de Guadalupe cards. Everyone was making me blush on the site so I told them that I was going to get drunk and make some all with my left hand. This is what that kind of art looks like:

Inspiring, I know.